When I first moved back to Texas and was visiting a park with my 2 year old twins I noticed a moms group having a playdate. I was considering joining a club at the time and was observing with the intention of approaching them for more information. But one thing I noticed was the lack of multiples. Yes many of them had two children but one was younger and safely cradled in a carrier or secured in a stroller.
The mom was free to guide and chase her toddler around the slides and pry wood chips out of his hands.
The moms with only one child were busy posing their baby for pictures. Full attention was given to that child. Both hands were offered as they came down the slide. One mom even sipped a hot latte!
They were all free to chat with little distractions. It was then that I realized that a regular moms club wouldn't do. These moms wouldn't understand the difficulty of pushing two swings at once. Or guiding one child across the monkey bars while desperately screaming at the other to stop running near the busy street. Praying the two would stay within line of vision but knowing they would go in opposite directions, my neck in danger of whiplash keeping them in sight.
There would be no idle chit chat laced with subtle groans of the woes of parenting. It would be hard for them to complain about being so tired and overwhelmed with 1 two year old to someone with 2! I would be throwing off their bell curve with my twin mamma drama and I knew that I wasn't going to get the experience I was looking for.
Luckily I found a Moms of Multiples group in my city and instantly felt a connection with these women. They were all where I had been and where I was headed in my twin parenting journey. A treasure trove of stories and information, advice and encouragement custom made for my unique family. Marvelous multitasking warriors united by our unique child rearing experiences.
Moms of multiples have a special perspective on parenting that parents of singletons just can’t relate to. If you are a new mom of multiples or expecting some and are looking for support tailor made for you here are a few reasons to consider a moms of multiples group.
We really get it.
We know it's hard to get out of the house with two or more toddlers in tow. A simple trip to the park can take more time than it's worth. And some days we just aren't feeling it. And that's ok. The endless amount of stuff needed to go anywhere. The extra time to pack and prep two toddlers or infants. It's overwhelming.
We know that most plans are made with the question of "how bad do I want to go this birthday party/festival/playdate?"
And if we do show up, you better have a good spread at your party to warrant me parading this circus show out. Just kidding. But seriously, a chocolate fountain would be perfect.
We still may not make it though and you'll understand. It doesn’t mean we value your friendship any less. We just can't manage to get it together sometimes and as fellow moms of multiples we completely understand. There will be no judgement or mommy shaming. It's a struggle that all twin and triplet moms deal with. This is our reality and although we feel it is a burden we will never be able to overcome, just know that your fellow multiple moms are nodding in solidarity.
It's not as bad as it seems.
The most important part of a multiples mom group is that it keeps you humble. No matter what trials your twosomes or threesomes are putting you through, there is always another mom who has it harder or has been through it before and made it to the other side somewhat unscathed, and you have the privilege of their advice and knowledge. Take it all in and give some back in return to those just starting their multiples journey in your local moms of multiples club.
So if you are looking for a group of women with kids your kid's age, or searching for friends to chat with, need some guidance and support or simply need to get out of the house and escape the chaos of raising twins or triplets then don't just join any moms club. Join a moms of multiples club.